


Mycroft Holmes' first wedding

by Iolanfg



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22619203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iolanfg/pseuds/Iolanfg
Summary: Mycroft and Greg want to get married. For that, Mycroft has to get a divorce first.
Relationships: Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade
Comments: 19
Kudos: 151
Collections: British Government D.I, MYSTRADE, Mystrade is our Division





	Mycroft Holmes' first wedding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InnerSpectrum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerSpectrum/gifts).
  * Inspired by [La primera boda de Mycroft Holmes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17529251) by [Iolanfg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iolanfg/pseuds/Iolanfg). 



> Sherlock is by Doyle, Mycroft and Greg are based on the characters of Moffat and Gatiss.  
> They asked Mark if Mycroft was married because of the ring on his finger, he said no, it was the wrong finger to wear a wedding ring on. Someone told him it was the right finger to wear in Germany. He said maybe he was married in Germany.  
> Someone made a comment on the Facebook group Mystrade is our division and twenty minutes later this happened... I hope it makes you laugh a bit, thanks for reading.  
> My first language is not English, this was translated with the help of translator Deepl. Sorry for any mistake.  
> The lovely InnerSpectrum wrote a wonderful fic with this premise, you should read it, she is a real writer and her fics are delicious. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17535977

Anthea, pale as a ghost, was trying to remember how to breathe again.  
\- How the hell did that happen?  
The girl sitting in front of her shuddered.  
\- I don't know. Everything seemed to be in order. I requested, as you ordered, the documentation and...  
The two women were silent, looking at the documents on the table as if they had seriously insulted them.  
On the first page you could read "Mycroft Holmes's marriage certificate", but it could have been a bomb about to go off and it wouldn't be any scarier.  
Accompanying the document, a letter explained that, with great regret, they could not start the procedures for the future marriage between Mycroft Holmes and DI Gregory Lestrade as Mr. Holmes was already in a civil relationship, with a German citizen named Johan Weber.  
Greg was going to kill Mycroft.  
And Mycroft was going to kill them all.  
Someone had made a mistake, a terrible mistake, and everyone would pay for it with their miserable lives...

*****

Sherlock was exultant. He'd done it again! Once again, he had managed to break into the government's computer archives. Names, dates of birth, death, petty and grand crimes, everything was there, within reach. He was definitely a genius.  
Boredom led him to investigate some names of known people, just in case. Not that the government could know anything he didn't:  
Molly Hooper, marital status, single.  
Martha Hudson, marital status, widowed, no children.  
Mycroft Holmes, marital status, married.  
John Watson, marital status...  
A gong sounded in his head. Choking slightly, he retyped his brother's name on the search engine.  
"Mycroft Holmes, marital status: married."  
\- John... Did we miss Mycroft and Lestrade's wedding?! Tell me I didn't fall asleep! Mummy will torture me for this...  
\- Sherlock, what are you talking about? The wedding's two months away.  
\- OK, well then, do you want to explain to me what this means? - he said pointing at the screen in front of him... And more importantly, can you explain to me why so many people seem to want to be married to my brother?  
John stuttered, clearly not knowing what to say  
\- Greg... Does Greg know about this?  
\- Considering he's an officer of the law who's planning his wedding to a married man, which is completely outside the law, I think we can deduce that he doesn't.

*****

Greg was looking at his friend, trying to guess where he was going. John had called him asking to see him urgently. That was an hour and a half and three beers ago, and he was no clearer about what it was all about than when he got the call. John had asked him not to get upset or angry, to remember the good times he and Mycroft had had together and what, in his way, had been happy and that was what he should remember. Above all, he should not feel bad, it was not Greg's fault, he would get over it in the time and find someone worthy of him.  
\- John, what the hell are you talking about?  
The doctor hesitated.  
\- Well, I shouldn't be the one to tell you, but somebody has to. I'm sorry, Greg, but you can't marry Mycroft.  
The detective looked at him perplexed, as if he'd spoken in some strange binary code incomprehensible to the human ear.  
\- I can't marry Mycroft? - He repeated slowly, blinking.  
\- No. He, you see, I'm terribly sorry but he... he's already married.  
"What?"  
\- What!?  
\- Yes, he's... Sherlock found out today, by accident, I didn't know either...  
\- Explain yourself, John Watson, and make it quick.  
The detective's icy tone suddenly made him very fond of Mycroft, and he wondered if they would ever be able to find his body.

*****

\- Okay, okay, so let me get this straight...  
Mycroft massaged his temples, for once in his life completely confused - I can't marry Gregory.  
\- No, sir.  
Anthea kept the little hope that Armageddon would break out and a rain of fire and lava would destroy humanity, putting an end to that conversation. Spontaneous combustion didn't seem like a bad idea either.  
\- Because I'm already married.  
\- Yes, sir.  
\- For the last... six years?  
\- Yes, sir.  
\- And tell me, why didn't anyone inform me of such a happy event? I mean, as far as I can understand, and despite widespread human stupidity, I think when a person is married, they know. You may not know that you're an idiot, if no one's noticed, or that you're dead, but people are usually aware of their marital status. I even think they're usually present on that day, even throwing a big party with alcohol and cake. "The big day," they call it.  
Anthea swallowed her saliva at the quiet, detached tone of her boss  
\- There was a mistake somewhere, sir. The paperwork was filled out as part of the alibi, we don't understand how it ended up in the registry office, sir, and someone made it official...  
\- I don't care how it happened! Fix it. Now!  
Mycroft roared without hardly raising his voice, something that still amazed and terrified his subordinates in equal measure, and everyone in the office seemed to come to life, the still, silent figures were transformed into blurs moving quickly to the computers and telephones, barking orders and begging for favours.  
He left the building, sighing as he pulled out his phone.  
Yes, he remembered that mission, how to forget it.  
The first legwork trip in years, right after Sherlock's fake death. A job he couldn't do alone. I needed a partner.  
Johan Weber. He remembered the dinners, the conversations, the trust growing between them beyond the demands of their roles. That's where it all began. He wondered if Gregory would be content to kill him or would he like to subject him to an exhaustive torture session firt, while he called her newly discovered husband.  
The voice that greeted him on the other end of the line seemed amusing.  
\- Hello, husband mine.  
\- I want a divorce. - he said without bothering to say hello.

*****

\- Johan Weber? - Greg repeated, stumped.  
\- Yeah, German citizen, Sherlock is trying to gather information on him, but the guy looks like a ghost, so...  
John get interrupted. He had anticipated every possible reaction from the man, anger, grief, confusion, betrayal... All except the uncontrollable laughter that now threatened to drown him out.  
Greg couldn't hold back his tears. He didn't know how the hell it happened, but he was delirious. Poor Anthea... Lucky Mycroft loved her like a sister. A sane sister, of course. That would at least guarantee her survival. Not that Mycroft had a wide range of non-psychotic siblings to choose from.  
Was beatiful, too, in a way. As if fate had decided for them.  
He remembered Mycroft's call, months after Sherlock's apparent suicide.  
\- I think you could do with a change of scenery, Inspector...  
And so it was that he found himself miles from London, on an undercover job with the Iceman, pretending to be someone he wasn't, promising himself that one day he would be who he pretended to be: the Mycroft Holmes's husband. The phone rang and he answered smiling, he didn't even need to see who was calling.  
\- Hello, husband mine.- John's stunned face did not help to suppress his laughter.  
\- I want a divorce - Mycroft's voice contained a laugh that only he could hear.  
\- How romantic. I was beginning to think you'd never ask.


End file.
